Dear Future

Truth No. 3: New Year’s resolutions are still a THING.

Dear Myself,

Apparently New Year’s Resolutions haven’t gone out of fashion, and people still sit down at the beginning of the year to make lists of things they wish they would do. I suppose this is a bit late, but oh well. Better late than never!

This year my main goal is to stop failing at life. This is a very general statement, but I think it’s a valid one. I myself have never submitted writing to any competitions, managed to drop a textbook on my global teacher’s foot on the first day of school, lost (and found) my phone at least sixteen times, and read hardly anything at all with the exception of that one week during camp of last year. As a result, I would like to stop failing life.

In order to aid me in this endeavor, I will attempt to do the following:

  1. Write every day, revise extensively, and submit at least one piece of writing to at least one legitimate competition.
  2. Be a more responsible student and suck up to all my teachers, even if that means acting as if Sparknotes is the best thing since Celtic Rock.
  3. Stop losing things, and continue finding things. Keep my life more organized.
  4. Read more.
  5. Find some form of exercise, and stay healthy.
  6. Study for tests.
  7. Sleep more than five hours a night.
  8. Stop hoping that people will change for the better, because that kind of thing only happens in books.
  9. Be smart.
  10. Stay safe.

The resolutions that as of right now I actually think I might be able to keep are 1, 4, and 10.

Some things that I would love to happen in the coming year but are almost certainly not happening are:

  1. Getting better grades (as of now it appears that my grades are dropping).
  2. Winning at science bowl regionals (it’s open field, so I’ll be competing against seniors…).
  3. Making a good impression on of all my teachers.
  4. Revising a piece of writing until I am proud of it.
  5. Getting to FRC (First Robotics Competition) internationals.
  6. Scoring perfectly on the National Latin Exam (because there’s always that one geography question I don’t know).
  7. Scoring respectably on the AMC (American Mathematics Competition) 10.
  8. Finding a lab to work in over the summer.
  9. Blogging every day.
  10. Scoring perfectly on the PSAT.

Five things I am not loking forward to in 2013:

  1. Pulling all-nighters for school.
  2. Six more months with my English teacher.
  3. Homework, tests, term papers, and other school-related work.
  4. Failing at life in general.
  5. Losing more things and being disorganized.

Five things I am looking forward to in 2013:

  1. Robotics
  2. Reading and Writing
  3. Science bowl
  4. Meeting more published authors.
  5. Summer vacation!

So there it is! Lists and lists of things I ought to do, want to do, can’t do, might do, and must do.

Alouette Kim

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Truth No. 1: We are all insignificant.

Dear 2013,

I am not afraid of you. I can see you hurtling towards me like a wave surging towards shore, but still I am not afraid. I can see that you are only another challenge for me to overcome, and you are no more daunting than the last. You promise mountains of homework, opportunities for heartbreak, and a number of sleepless nights. But you also promise more time to be had with some of the most important people in my life.

Sometimes it makes it easier to just reduce you to a series of numbers. 2013 AD. 365 days. 8760 hours. 525600 minutes. 31536000 seconds. It’s really not that long when you consider that the Earth has been around for 4.54 ± 0.05 (because uncertainty matters) billion years. We are all so insignificant–just a tiny wisp of smoke in the forever that is the universe, and the vastness that is Earth.

I am a girl.

I am a girl in a city.

I am a girl in a city in the state of New York.

I am a girl in a city in the state of New York in the United States of America.

I am a girl in a city in the state of New York in the United States of America, which is in North America.

I am a girl in a city in the state of New York in the United States of America, which is in North America, situated on the planet Earth.

I am a girl in a city in the state of New York in the United States of America, which is in North America, situated on the planet Earth that orbits the sun.

I am a girl in a city in the state of New York in the United States of America, which is in North America, situated on the planet Earth that orbits the sun, stuck in the great nothingness that is our universe.

I am a girl in a city in the state of New York in the United States of America which is in North America, situated on the planet Earth that orbits the sun, stuck in the great nothingness that is our universe, which is possibly one of billions of universes.

I am a girl in a city in the state of New York in the United States of America which is in North America, situated on the planet Earth that orbits the sun, stuck in the great nothingness that is our universe, which is possibly one of billions of universes. I will live, and I will die, and no one living up the block from will ever have been any the wiser.

It always helps to remember that nothing I get wrong matters all that much. At least I didn’t make some catastrophic mistake, like decide that today was the day the world was going to end. And I mean even that really wouldn’t have altered much in the grand scheme of things. Life is funny like that. Everything happens, everything passes, and we’re all just left struggling in nature’s wake.

I mean, really. The past exists only within our minds, and the future is just our imaginations at work. The only real thing is the NOW, which is influenced by the past and future. It’s ridiculous.

But still—we can’t help who we are. And as much as we can, we make the best of our struggle. And 2013, I am not afraid. Right now, you lurk in the shadows of the future—the future which exists within our minds. But soon enough you will be the NOW, and the now will have passed. And that’s that, isn’t it? A thousand years from now, nobody will remember me. Maybe they will remember Bill Gates or Steve Jobs. But a thousand years after that–what then? What about after humanity has ended? We are all insignificant. However, that is why we struggle to make ourselves heard: in the hope that we will be just a little bit less insignificant.

Hoping for the best,

Alouette Kim

 

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